The story of Little Red
Riding Hood is a popular children’s fairy tale that nearly every child has
heard countless times. It tells the story of a young girl sent out to look
after her frail old grandmother, and the perils and adventures she encounters
along the way. All in all, things worked out in her favor in the end, but we
still have some qualms about Red Riding Hood’s little excursion and think she
needs to be grounded. Her mother should be held accountable as well.
Here are
our ten reasons why:
- Stranger
danger –
Children should be counseled to never talk to strangers. Especially when
their story is going to be shared with countless other children over the
centuries. It’s important that they set a good example, and stay out of
harm’s way.
- Curfew – The story doesn’t make it clear, but
we’re pretty sure from the evidence available to us that Red Riding Hood
must have violated some curfew during her extended journey into the woods.
At one point, she even stayed the night without notifying her parents.
- Child
endangerment –
Incidentally, we think that Red Riding Hood’s mom ought to be turned in to
Child Protective Services for sending her out alone into the woods in a
red velvet outfit and with a bottle of wine. We find this sort of child
endangerment most distressing.
- Minor
in Posession –
Grounding Little Red Riding Hood would keep her out of trouble and prevent
her from being busted for possession of alcohol as a minor. She probably
should be put in a foster home to ensure this sort of thing is never
repeated.
- Lack
of street smarts –
In light of the fact that she nearly got her grandma killed with her big
mouth and gullible nature, we think it’s fair to say that Little Red
Riding Hood needs to be kept off the streets. At least until she learns some
better street smarts.
- Failing
eyesight –
Anyone who can’t tell their grandmother from a wolf doesn’t need to be
walking the streets by themselves. Red Riding Hood should be kept indoors
under 24-hour observation, in our opinion.
- Accessory
to murder –
Being an accessory to murder (the wolf), it may be a good idea for her to
lay low for a while anyway. She’s probably wanted for questioning. And for
Pete’s sake, put that red riding hood away. It’s a dead giveaway! (pun
intended)
- House
arrest –
From a legal perspective, maybe her being grounded should be viewed more
as a house arrest, pending the outcome of the investigation of the wolf’s
homicide case. Until the smoke clears, we think this may be the best
course of action for all concerned.
- Safety – Little Red Riding Hood should be
grounded for her own safety. Every time she leaves the house, it seems
like someone else is getting eaten alive or killed. The girl is just
trouble with a capital ‘T’.
- Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder –
After witnessing the disembowelment of the wolf by the lumberjack, we feel
safe in assuming that Red Riding Hood is in dire need of counseling, and
perhaps some PTSD therapy. At any rate, ground the girl long enough to get
her some psychiatric evaluation. She’s been through quite an ordeal.
Little Red Riding Hood may
have come out on top at the end of the story, but she certainly had some
mishaps along the way. It would probably be in everyone’s best interest if she
stayed home from now on, either by her own accord or because she’s grounded for
all her previous transgressions.
Debbie Denard
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